Bah Humbug- Christmas

A Season of Overwhelm and Resentment

As we turn into December, there is a seemingly collective cinnamon-filled air of joy, festivity, and relentless good cheer and banter all around you. All this is marvellous if you have all the emotional and financial security you need to immerse yourself into the season. But for some, me included, Christmas feels like an oppressive force. It seems to go on forever for some clients, and there’s no time for self-care.

Expectations, financial strain, emotional turbulence. Not my bag. Bah-Humbug indeed.

As a therapist, I may be sticking my neck out here, but it is time to speak up, show and tell so that all of our experiences are valued. Clients sometimes pause therapy at this time of year as their time and energy are required elsewhere; for some, it is to ‘get Christmas out of the way’. On returning in January, I’ve noticed clients experiencing considerable burnout, stress, poorer physical condition, and relationship issues ( we’ve all heard about the divorce /separation rates in January, right?)

Christmas demands perfection, or at least it feels that way. Social media doesn’t help, with its endless stream of glittering trees, festive selfies, and syrupy captions of joy. For someone who feels disconnected from all of this, it’s not just isolating—it’s suffocating.

The truth is, I also find Christmas difficult and can easily slide into feeling overwhelmed by the season in ways that are hard to put into words.

This season, my self-care strategy is to continue the therapeutic use of photography, which has been introduced to the practice this year. I expressed my feelings about the experience of a recent Christmas shopping trip in Manchester in a photograph.

In the abstract image, I was interested in using lights, reflections, and movement to capture what was difficult to express verbally. The image is titled ‘Ghosts of Christmas 2024’. The picture looks Dickensian, evocative of ‘Scrooge’ – I felt ‘solitary as an oyster’ like the character’s description as he is described in the novella’s opening. The swirling movements enabled by a longer shutter speed and moving the camera express my overwhelm. Part of the image on the top right-hand side reminds me of a noose, foregrounding the two haunted faces emerging from just below and towards the background. The reflections are ‘ghostlike’ contemporary people take on the appearance of people from a bygone era, and the cumulative effect of the image is uncanny.

Clients in the therapy room express similar concerns over the Christmas period and face similar emotional overwhelm each year, ‘well, it’s for the kids, isn’t it?’ is a common theme. But, if our children were adept at articulating their emotions fully in adult fashion, I often wonder how many of them would be able to tell us that they have the exact expectations about the season as we think they do. Having worked with some very switched-on young people in my therapy rooms, I can report that their expectations, however much they protest for the latest gadgetry, are often wildly different from what their parents imagine they are.

Why is it so far removed from the original sentiment of this time of year?

From the moment absurdly early decorations begin to appear, stress mounts. That’s why.  It’s not just about buying gifts, though the financial burden alone is enough to make anyone dread the season. It’s about fulfilling an impossible set of expectations: to be merry, to create magical experiences for others, and to somehow embody the spirit of the season. All this, and keep our mental health in check? Wow. That’s a lot.

Christmas demands perfection, or at least it feels that way. Perfect decorations, perfect gatherings, perfect presents wrapped in perfect paper. Social media doesn’t help, with its endless stream of glittering trees, festive selfies, and captions dripping with saccharine joy. For someone who feels disconnected from all of this, it’s not just isolating—it’s suffocating.

“It’s Christmas! Cheer up!”

One of the cruellest ironies of Christmas is how lonely it can make you feel. The season is supposed to be about connection, but for those who are single, estranged from family, or grieving the loss of loved ones, the holiday can amplify feelings of isolation.

Financial and Emotional Strain

Christmas isn’t just emotionally draining; it’s financially punishing. The pressure to buy gifts, attend parties, and participate in holiday traditions can stretch even the most careful budget to its breaking point. It’s hard to feel festive when you’re worrying about credit card debt or wondering how to afford the “perfect” Christmas ‘do’.

But the emotional toll can be even worse. For those with complicated family dynamics, Christmas is less a time of joy and more a minefield of unresolved tensions. Gathering around the table doesn’t always mean laughter and warmth; it can mean forced smiles, passive-aggressive comments, and resurfacing old wounds.

The Guilt of not liking Christmas

Not relishing Christmas comes with its unique kind of guilt. It’s hard to admit your feelings without fearing judgment. The cultural narrative around Christmas is so pervasive and unyielding that rejecting it can feel like a personal failing. It is not.

Finding Space to Breathe

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s okay to step back from the holiday frenzy. It’s OK to set boundaries, skip gatherings, and let go of the idea that you must “do Christmas” in a certain way. Self-care might mean staying home with a good book instead of attending a party or prioritising your emotional well-being over gift-giving obligations.

Many clients have felt a sense of purpose and achievement in service, either helping out at a charity or providing essentials to those less fortunate than they are. For me, self-care also involves service these days; I spent last Christmas and New Year’s Day mornings presenting shows on Radio Northwich, and it made me feel good to be giving something to the community while stepping aside from the collective strain of the festivities underway at home for a few hours. Then, I was more able to connect. Be more present. I enjoyed the festive period more for doing something helpful to others, not just serving the relentless consumer capitalist plotline in which we are characters who are quickly taken advantage of, exploited, and emptied.

Christmas doesn’t have to be a time of joy for everyone, and it’s okay to admit that. Sometimes, the most courageous thing you can do is acknowledge your feelings and permit yourself to navigate the season in your way.

Hypnotherapy can be a powerful tool to help manage Christmas-related stress, depression and loneliness. I help clients to:

• 1. Reframe Negative Thoughts
• 2. Reduce Stress and Anxiety
• 3. Address Loneliness
• 4. Grieve and Let Go
• 5. Boost their Confidence and Motivation

I’ll navigate December with as much grace as I can muster. My therapy rooms stay open! If you would like to try hypnotherapy or phototherapy (the season is, in fact, a gift for those with any smartphone camera). You can book a consultation during the festive period.

I am wishing you all a peaceful month!

Michelle Morris. Hypnotherapist

Heal Hypnotherapy Clinic, Northwich & Alderley Edge & Online appointments available.

Book now on 07960 467347